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Betrayed

I would venture to say there are very few of us who have not felt or been betrayed by someone or even a circumstance.  In retrospect, we often can see that the erosion of our trust happened little by little – even under our unsuspecting noses. And it’s painful. It’s infuriating.

 Betrayal comes like a thief to the unsuspecting heart or the oblivious friendship stealing away what is most sacred.  It is masked by false friendships and armed with motivations such as jealousy, idle gossip, pride and arrogance.  And it almost always happens with little regard for the outcome.  Recently the piercing arrow of betrayal has found its way into our lives, and I cannot think of many things more torturous to one’s confidence in humankind.

Oh, the questions we’ve asked ourselves silently and aloud.  “Why?” “How could he? How could she?” The answers are not there – and may never be found.  Yet through the devastation, confusion, self-doubt and anger, we’ve discovered a strength that only comes through the questioning.  It’s so hard for us to wrap our minds around being manipulated because SB and I  don’t operate in that manner.  We curse the pain because we would never intentionally hurt someone ourselves.  And the only compartment we can truly find to place such betrayal is in the pity box.

We pity the ones who have caused us sleepless nights and such hurt. We pity them because we know that all we really leave behind in this world and in the lives of others is our word, our integrity. And they have none. If they continue doing to others as they’ve done to us, their legacy in this world will be the example of what not to do.

What comes to mind are basic life lessons most every kind person learns early in life. Somewhere along the way, simple human kindnesses are exchanged for selfish motivations and the fallout can change the biggest heart needlessly.

Like Robert Fulghum reminded us in his book, All I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten, it doesn’t hurt to remember how to treat others: “Share everything; Play fair; Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody; When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.”

 What we put out into the world, truly does come back to us – any five year old knows this.

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Remembering Sadie Love

“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own; live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan…” -“The Once Again Prince”-Irving Townsend

In her last hours she didn’t have to tell us she loved us or she was sorry for anything.  She lived that way every day.  What I remember most is how she taught me the lesson of unconditional love.  Sometimes she was sassy and misbehaved. But I don’t remember many of those moments anymore.  What I do remember is no matter what was going on, whether she ignored our commands and tore off through the woods in search of a big Labrador Retriever adventure or if she was lounging at my feet, there was always room in Sadie’s day to give us love. Time after time, lick after lick, she loved us.  If we were late getting home, she didn’t mind. If we were intent in our own agendas and activities, she just moved in a little closer. Sadie lived life big. From her paws and ears to her barrel chest and bark, she left her mark on this world and in the hearts of all who knew her. For Steve and me, she stole our hearts from the day we each met her and took pieces of them with her as her big heart beat its last… bum-bum..bum-bum…. 

The pain of losing our beloved Sadie cuts as sharply today as it did 85 days ago. Our hearts break all over again every time we talk or laugh about her. Yet the boundless joy that was ours for nearly eleven years  trickles through the cracks in my heart like warm honey.  The gift of her life was magical. She was an angel disguised by yellowish-white fur and ears as soft as cashmere.  When that fragile circle of life was breached and she took her last earthly breath, my heart was breaking in a way it had never been pierced before. I held her close for one more moment and whispered, “Thank you, ol’ girl. You loved us well.”

Image

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A lot has happened

Do you ever wonder where time goes? I’ve been asking myself that since my last post… Friends, it’s been way too long and I’ve missed you all.  So much has happened and I felt during December that I needed a break from blogging. Not that I was some master blogger, but it was consuming a lot of my time I needed to focus on some other things.  But, I’m back, and I hope you will oblige me and follow me around a little more. 

Just so you’ll know, you need to stay tuned because there WILL be some changes to this blog in the very near future and you wouldn’t want to not be in the know, now would you?

Just for kicks I will do a little listing of things I’ve been up to since we last met in bloggy world:

1. Celebrated Christmas

2. Celebrated New Years

3. Celebrated Easter

4. Interviewed for 3 jobs, of which I landed one.

5. Traveled to Mexico and returned on the same day as the BIG swine flu outbreak hit the media.  We didn’t get sick, thankyouverymuch.

6. While in Mexico became the 14th woman to have completed a world slam of harvesting all 6 wild turkeys in the world. Yes, the things we do for love… I will be posting more about that, so stay tuned….lots of fun things to laugh about.

7. Decided I needed bangs again so I could be fashionably in style…it doesn’t happen a lot, so be impressed.

8.  Have walked Sadie and Lily about a million times since December…and cherish every minute I get to do it.

9. Have hired some workers to make some repairs to our home.

10. Accepted a job based out of Nashville and have commenced to burning up the highways between here and there because my home is still here and my work is there…makes for interesting times. More on that later too.

There are many more moments I plan to share with you – just know I’m thrilled to be back to writing – the walls are coming down again, thank you Jesus!

Tomorrow I head out to Charlotte for a wonderful conference, She Speaks hosted by Proverbs 31 ministries…I simply cannot wait to share about the experience, especially since I’m planning on getting a big Chi-O hug from a former college friend named BooMama!

Peace out, my friends. Peace in your hearts.

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Just so you’ll know, I didn’t make these rules up. A dear friend (*cough, Teresa, cough*) sent these to me and I have NO idea who was funny enough to write them. So if you are reading this and you actually came up with these hilarious Christmas rules, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.  Until then, enjoy these rules! I plan on not breaking any… in fact #2 has already been obeyed!  And I do have an issue with a part of #8 because well, any pie that is called Mincemeat pie isn’t considered a pie or a type of dessert in my book.  Just my sweet tooth opinion.

Enjoy, everyone.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

  1.   Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.   Go next door, where they’re serving peanut butter balls.

  2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly.   It’s rare..  You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

  3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

  4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

  5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

  6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

  7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

  8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.   When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

  9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

  10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

  “Life should NOT be a  journey to the grave with the  intention of arriving  safely in  an attractive and well preserved body, but  rather to skid in   sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly  used up, totally worn  out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

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Well, I’m cleaning out some computer files and of course, I got side-tracked by pictures of my 4-legged babies. They’ve grown up to be the best dogs in the whole world – except of course when they run off from me and when they eat things in the woods they’re not supposed to.  But those moments are few and far between.  Let me show you what I mean:

So – there you have them. My 2 girls in all their precociousness.  They bring us sheer delight, ya’ll. Because when I come home and have those 2 tails wagging at me and then they pile up in my lap when I sit down, life doesn’t get much better than that. It’s unconditional. It’s pure and true puppy love.

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Thanks everyone – those who popped over from BooMama’s site, those who’ve been visiting me from the beginning, and those who just happened upon my site for one reason or the other. My first giveaway has been so fun and I thank you for all the precious comments.  There’s NO doubt in my mind that women who struggle with infertility are hungry for encouragement and hope.  My heart’s desire is that God uses my book to accomplish at least those two things.

If you are not one of the winners, I pray you will go here and order a book today for yourself or for the numerous friends and/or family members you told me about. I may be a little biased, since you know I did write the book, BUT if I had had this book when I was most struggling with my journey of infertility, it would have helped me immensely. 

Cindy, Paige M., and Carolyn Sharkas – you ARE the winners, please email me your mailing address, and to whom you would like me to autograph the book, and I’ll get them out in the mail to you right away.

 

Here are your random numbers:

35	26	17

Timestamp: 2008-11-05 01:49:32 UTC

 

Thanks, ya’ll, for joining my blog. I hope you’ll come back again and again and again!  Stay tuned for more bloggy thoughts for living life to the fullest!

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Above all, He is God

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles.   Isaiah 40:31

Thought I’d give you all a fabulous update on our friend, Murray, from Montana… the one who was nearly trampled to death by a horse. He’s a rancher in Montana so riding horses is something he does every single day of his life.

But in late September, a mare decided she was having no part of it. And she bucked him off and did major damage to him – in fact, we were afraid we were going to lose Murray at one point.

This man is being prayed for by more people than I can imagine. And God, in His infinite timing and wisdom has touched him with a healing hand. After 5 1/2 weeks of being on a ventilator, having had a tracheotomy, and a host of other surgeries, Murray has opened his eyes. He recognizes his entire family and mouths their names!

Oh, it was the sweetest call I’ve had in a long time. This family needed to see the God of miracles and the God who allows “things” to happen in our lives, is still God – enthroned forever and ever.

Murray has a long road ahead of him for complete recovery, but the grace of God touched this family’s hearts and lives this week. And I couldn’t be prouder to say, “I will worship you, my Father. Your grace is sufficient for us – always.”

Amen.

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